A number of musical misconceptions are explored and exploded in this humorous and lucid disussion of the relation between the human perception of music and traditional systems of music education. Drawing on his extensive background in the music world, the author marshals an informal yet rigorous logic to guide the reader through the practical experiences and careful thinking that led him to his conclusions. Updated and refined in the light of reader feedback and more recent thinking, nagging questions such as "why does formal musical training often seem irrrelevant to musical success?" are readdressed. Seekers of musical truth stand to profit from this light-hearted assault on some of the more nebulous assumptions of the musical community.